There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize