I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
