don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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