Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
