she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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