And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
