A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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