the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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