Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
