Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
