the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
only if we run a train.
done.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
