Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize