atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
