Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
