that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
