I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
