btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
