Your face is a jimmy john
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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