So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
