I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
