Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
