I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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