dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize