It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
