when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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