Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
