Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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