I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
