I want to make a zoo with you.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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