Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
