I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
