don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize