I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
