Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
