my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
