When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
