I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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