Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize