what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
