If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
