You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
