i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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