I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
