someone threw a dead crab at me
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she peed on how many people?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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