just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
