I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
