weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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