Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
