i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
