we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
