Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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