Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
