Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
