That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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