good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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