I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
