Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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