These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
