R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
